Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I should start writing again

yes, I should start writing again.
because I feel as if I am alone again here.
as if I am not belong to where I am right now.

yes, I should write again.
because I tend to be quite when I'm hurt inside
I tend to be quite when I don't know whether I'm right or wrong.
I tend to be quite when I'm left behind.
I tend to be quite when I'm alone.

yes, I should write again.
because I'm hurt inside.
no one can understand.
not even my parents or my bestfriend.
not even my brain can handle this.
not even a jar of candies can cheer me up.

yes, I should write again.


my Lord, help me.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Psychiatry Posting

Lee Hi - Breathe ♫ 

Here Arfahani comes again after finished her super tiring Psychiatry Posting!
actually baru hbs exam Clinical Diagnostic Lab posting khamis lepas and alhamdulillah boleh la jwb, OSCE was easy but the multiple choice question was kinda sucks, haha!
alhamdulillah masih survive, berbekalkan saki baki keringat utk survive year 4 ni.

I promised myself to make a post on my blog specially dedicated for Psychiatry Posting.
first, let me tell you a little bit on 'what is psychiatry posting?'
it is a specialized medical field which focused on giving treatment to people who is having mental problem. secara kasarnya org kita ckp deal dgn org gila lah.
but let me make it clear about this thing!
it is not all about org gila.
if you're stress then you develop tekanan perasaan and you get sick but the difference is that you develop something different than just a normal sick such as hearing unusual voices or unusual sensation, is that your fault?
No, right?
sama lah mcm org yg dikatakan sakit mental, they didn't ask to get sick like that.
it can be due to their genetic or their environment since childhood was totally unhealthy for them to grow normally as other people.
Imagine, kalau dorang kehilangan parents since umur 8 tahun, how they're going to grow normally as other people? they lost their affection to people, takde org nk bg kasih syg mcm parents dia. 
that is one of the reason they started to act different.
they have low self esteem, they keep comparing their life with other people, they take people words as something so serious, they lost their trust on people and many more.
byk sgt sbb and I can't list them all.

at first, serius arfa takut nk masuk posting ni. first sbb org ckp lecturer garang, lol mmg garang pn Prof Fadzillah tu. second, org ckp this is a new field and everything is different. third, byk yg failed this posting and tak dpt naik tahun, and it is proven! fourth, we deal with psychiatric patient which can be so scary, haha nk interview org tak betul kot! hahaha


then, bila masuk 3rd week of posting, I started to understand them more.
dorang sbnrnya kurang perhatian, kurang kasih sayang.
yela, bila pernah masuk hospital mental, sape nk kawan dgn kau, sape nk bg kerja kat org yg sakit mental, family pn pandang kau atas bwh atas bwh je, kannnnn?
padahal, korang cuba imagine eh, arfa pernah interview patient yg ada Schizophrenia. (pandai2lah korang google menatang amende tu, HAHA), dorang normal je mcm kita, cuma bezanya dorang pernah dgr suara yg org lain tak dpt dgr. suara tu melekat dlm otak dorang and dorang tak dpt hilangkan suara tu. kita yg dgr benda bising sekejap pn rasa nk marah flips table bagai, imagine dorang yg dgr benda tu semua almost everyday. plus bkn suara Siti Nurhaliza yg merdu ke apa.
suara org bisik kat telinga kau, kau suka? TEKAN SINI utk dgr mcm mana dorang yg sakit experience auditory hallucination. jgn dgr kalau tak berani atau korang tgh baca this post in the middle of night, takut kang korang pulak dgr benda ni in real life, hahahaha (don't blame me)

benda tu semua kita panggil halusinasi. Paling sedih bila ada org cuba bunuh diri dgn bakar diri sendiri ckp 'sy mcm takde harapan je doktor, sume tak suka sy.' ahhhh sedih.
dorang nk survive mcm org normal tp tak dpt sbb org kita ada mentaliti yg buruk terhadap dorang, termasuk lah arfa sblm masuk psychiatry posting. solutionnya, either dorang build their inner strength and ignore other people atau dorang keep on rasa down and sampai mati bergelumang dgn rasa diri dorang tak guna.
that is what psychiatrist and doktor bhgn psychiatry ni focus on!
their own inner conflict need to be solve.




byk jenis sakit mental ni, kalau nk cerita semua pn mmg takkan habis.
 update hari ni pn sbb takde apa nk buat, exam dah habis kan, hehe
so kalau korang nmpk org gila, ingat pesanan arfa, jgn kejam sangat smpi layan dorang mcm sampah.
dorang pn pernah hidup mcm korang jgk, cuma threshold dorang utk face dugaan tu rendah, tu sbb dorang sakit. 
kalau takut dgn org gila tu normal lah sbb dorang kan pelik, ada yg joget tgh dunia lah, ada yg telanjang lah, haha.. tp tu sbb dorang sakit.. instead of saying something bad and keji dorang, baiklah just menjauhkan diri or try to understand them.
have mercy on them in order for them to improve and lead a better life like us.

okay, dah hbs, malas nk cerita byk (wlupn dah pjg pn menulis,lol).
doakan arfa ada lg 2 posting sebelum habis tahun 4. 
doakan jgk arfa dpt post lebih kerap and give more input for you guys!
k adios, assalamualaikum and have a nice day!