can't sleep so i write

today tiba2 rasa sedih bila fikir aku ada less than sebulan with my family.

after subuh prayer, ariefah my lil sis menangis gila2 sbb nk ikut my parents pergi jumpa doktor,

it was 7am, dlm hati ni nk marah sgt2 sbb aku ngantok lg, bila suddenly dia diam while i laid on my bed, aku terfikir,

"this is not the way of treating your 5years old sister la arfa, nk ke nnti anak kau kne layan camtu dgn org lain?"

no, aku taknak, cepat2 aku peluk dia, pujuk dia, and said ''kakak syg ariefah tau",

after zohor prayer pulak, we all pi lunch ayam kampung..

mengadap pinggan aku, aku terfikir dpt ke kau mkn mcm ni lagi arfa?

kacang botol, sambal belacan, sayur taugeh..semua takde kat egypt..

oh lord, alhamdulillah for all rezeki you gave to me and my family.

i don't have a clear reason of writing all of these but one thing, i feel bad today, really bad..

i miss ummi, i miss her cooking, her laughter, her kiss, her touch, her voice, everything..

she used to lecture me, studyy studyy all the time..

i really hope she can see what i have achieved today and say that she's proud of me but that is impossible, i know..

oh ye kwn, yes you!

 i'm a bad friend, i owe you an explanation but i'm afraid, i know i'm a loser..

i'm sorry for all my faults, you are always my friend, forever.

i can't confront you because i feel guilty..

you know who you are..

assalamualaikum :)